I’ve always been a rather private person which I equated to humility. My life was not on display for anyone. I really attribute that to my upbringing. My family was always private and quiet. Doing what needed to be done to build a life but without really sharing that with anyone else. It led me to keep things to myself. Kind of the quiet professional mentality. I tended to see people living their lives publicly as ‘spot lighters’ People that needed way too much attention. Not the kind of person I want to be, I told myself. No need to go around telling everyone about my life, it’s mine. 

Surprisingly, my view has significantly shifted on that over the last six months. I see people living their lives publicly and with transparency. I find that I gravitate to those people and I’m learning things from them. Seeing how freely they are living their lives has opened a new world to me. Sharing without desire for compensation. Helping others by living their lives and sharing the journey in the hope that it helps or inspires someone. 

Humility versus self-importance

Merriam-Webster defines humility as “freedom from pride or arrogance: the quality or state of being humble”. Humility is certainly a desired state. Further, arrogance or excessive pride can create blind spots in our lives. When we attempt to display ourselves in a prideful manner, we can erode our credibility. Pride and boastfulness can be seen as covering for a lack of competence. Arrogance is similarly off-putting as that self-importance creates a feel of talking down to others. 

So, by living our life more publicly, where does the right balance lie? That is a question many struggle with. Humility avoids the negative implications of the previously mentioned characteristics. Conversely, gaining attention or notoriety can inflate the ego and lead to arrogance. This could lead us to believe it is a dichotomy. As I am learning, nothing could be further from the truth. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. It’s possible for us to live publicly for the benefit of others without becoming arrogant. 

Learning through experimentation

This shift may be easier for the person living more privately, but perhaps that’s my own bias since that’s where I’m coming from. Experimentation allows us to learn what works and how to find ways to share the things we’ve learned with those around us. This encourages growth, both in ourselves and in others. Couple the growth with copious reflection and we can begin to see where sharing our experiences can help fuel others’ growth. 

This builds upon itself. Our own growth fuels us to continue our progress. Meanwhile, as others benefit from the journey we’re sharing, it also fuels our growth. The more we grow and share, the more others can learn from us and promote growth within themselves. Growth encourages growth. It’s mutually beneficial in that by helping others, we help ourselves. 

What I’m doing

This really began for me as I started writing on social media. Experimenting to see what works while learning from others allows me to continue growing. The critical thing about this that I’ve learned is all social media is what you make of it. Meaning that if we go down the rabbit hole of fear and negativity, that is what we’re adding to our lives. Choose what and who we follow wisely. 

If it brings value to me, I continue following and supporting. If it doesn’t align with my values and goals, I unfollow and move on. I learned quickly that I do not owe my attention to anyone that hasn’t earned it. So, I follow quality and thought-provoking content. This challenges me to create ever-improving content as I continue my quest to live my life more in public. 

Read my story here.